Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (4602)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (8078)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (3554)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (88)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (3664)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the movies. She replies, "Sorry I have to do stuff with my parents" Her mum calls and by mistake my girlfriend pressed loud speaker, the first thing her mum said was "Be back at 11". FML

#421
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31106) - you deserved it (2300)

On 11/30/2008 at 10:25pm - love - by English - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

#19116671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (2199)

On 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by marriedtoaretard (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML

#42474
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46458) - you deserved it (2002)

On 02/14/2009 at 3:50pm - animals - by Anne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

#2765293
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48095) - you deserved it (2583)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:18am - misc - by older (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere and whacked me in the back of my head. I started reaming out two young girls for playing in the store, even when they said it wasn't them. Soon after, one of my employees admitted that it was her. I made some 7 year olds cry and it wasn't them. FML

#3467075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10241) - you deserved it (53294)

On 07/03/2009 at 11:04pm - work - by Missa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

#3507672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54229) - you deserved it (2955)

On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

#14357
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33116) - you deserved it (6539)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by scatter00x (man) - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: