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Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40755) - you deserved it (7026)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML

#20700710
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47573) - you deserved it (5450)

On 06/02/2013 at 4:29am - kids - by samabomination - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

#20796093
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44383) - you deserved it (3570)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML

#20868766
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44702) - you deserved it (11426)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:49am - money - by OweLotsaMoney - United States

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

#20883435
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42138) - you deserved it (11465)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:26am - love - by Oh hells no (man) - United States (California)

Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML

#20893951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44057) - you deserved it (3080)

On 09/24/2013 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45570) - you deserved it (12287)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

#21081418
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (7564)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm - animals - by chuchundra (woman) - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (13458)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

#21255144
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (7396)

On 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41687) - you deserved it (7129)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32412) - you deserved it (8079)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML



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