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Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (2332)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML

#17687215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (2580)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:55am - work - by minimoonpie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

#20055992
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you deserved it (4551)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by frustrated (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22514) - you deserved it (1728)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33065) - you deserved it (2602)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML

#20534501
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12287) - you deserved it (35579)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:44am - work - by coffee - United States

Today, I was on a bumpy bus ride and had to write a note, so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly woman then yelled at me, accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off and I had to wait an hour in the rain for the next bus. FML

#20561950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you deserved it (2865)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by 00sasori - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (42929)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (7122)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML

#20700710
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (5529)

On 06/02/2013 at 4:29am - kids - by samabomination - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML

#20868766
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45837) - you deserved it (11738)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:49am - money - by OweLotsaMoney - United States

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

#20883435
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42889) - you deserved it (11679)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:26am - love - by Oh hells no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39946) - you deserved it (6546)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)



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