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Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML

#21155744
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46472) - you deserved it (4606)

On 05/29/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (4460)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22740) - you deserved it (58892)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

#21387401
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34623) - you deserved it (3313)

On 04/04/2015 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous - India

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (4238)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36026) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29744) - you deserved it (2143)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

#38
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17119) - you deserved it (53324)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - love - by SweeT -

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

#739087
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13818) - you deserved it (52831)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was rushing to get on the train to work as I heard the "door closing" beeps. I was about to step onto the train when a man pushed me out of the way so that he could get on. My handbag fell out of my hand into the carriage. I stayed on the platform. FML

#3332774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57095) - you deserved it (2964)

On 06/29/2009 at 5:44am - work - by chloe (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

#3476155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38871) - you deserved it (6714)

On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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