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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I finally found the jewelry my two-year-old son had lost when it got lodged in my foot. FML

#19526699
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16741) - you deserved it (2193)

On 04/25/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML

#19940752
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8699) - you deserved it (28603)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Taylor - United States (New York)

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

#20033836
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (1566)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16295) - you deserved it (10507)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML

#20016889
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15372) - you deserved it (12028)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

#20112748
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (7356)

On 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (2201)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (8923)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (2224)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23801) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33080) - you deserved it (9238)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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