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Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML

#1017007
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (57205)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by xnickx (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I realized it's been 5 days since my boyfriend last answered the phone when I called. Two weeks ago, he told me he used to break up with his girlfriends in a very juvenile way. He doesn't answer their phone calls. FML

#6332
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34259) - you deserved it (3010)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Ginger (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML

#1108096
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46636) - you deserved it (10318)

On 04/19/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by hawaiiansokkrboi (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

#1868232
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53046) - you deserved it (6414)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:16am - animals - by babyboomerang (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

#4241415
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (5476)

On 08/02/2009 at 10:40pm - money - by arghhh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML

#6313806
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (5417)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:04pm - money - by notip (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

#7156586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25198) - you deserved it (8891)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:15am - animals - by bels12 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

#7277653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (27666)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by Chris (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7908) - you deserved it (28061)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from my daughter's flat in Scotland. I got a flight there yesterday morning to surprise her on her 21st birthday. Nobody told her I was coming. When I got there, it turned out she decided to get a plane to London to surprise me. £200 on flights, and I didn't even get to see her. FML

#8207424
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (4679)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:39pm - kids - by gordy1220 (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10032) - you deserved it (33607)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4am to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML

#12953653
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/07/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by dumbdad - United States

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30463) - you deserved it (3311)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)



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