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Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (2617)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (4515)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39187) - you deserved it (4359)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I marked 600 emails in my gmail inbox as spam and it will take me hours to go through and unmark them. FML

#838
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4975) - you deserved it (22642)

On 01/01/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

#2715
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (4608)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by LDL - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

#4209
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you deserved it (6974)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (5255)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

#5424386
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18367) - you deserved it (6072)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:43am - intimacy - by fuzzy (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML

#6612451
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (2145)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoutoutloud2him (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

#7016410
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (5232)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my co-worker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML

#6764357
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (3562)

On 12/15/2009 at 1:04pm - work - by psychworker - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a $105 parking ticket for being in a handicapped space. The lines were covered by snow, and the sign was on the building twenty feet away. FML

#7029804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (4871)

On 12/30/2009 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can't give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML

#8116089
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (1862)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:03am - work - by suuuucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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