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Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34516) - you deserved it (3625)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29234) - you deserved it (2617)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (30221)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (2087)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

#51182
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13271) - you deserved it (167305)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Dani_Rich - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new purple shirt and decided to wear it to this charity function I was going to. I thought I looked pretty good in it. Then I got home and realized I left the sticker on. I had an "XL" sticker on my boob all night. FML

#865934
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20978) - you deserved it (46016)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by jessica238 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

#989435
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20434) - you deserved it (52098)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17pm - misc - by Insensitive (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

#3423786
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38908) - you deserved it (13516)

On 07/02/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by nobleach - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML

#2989467
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15931) - you deserved it (52908)

On 06/18/2009 at 6:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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