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Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21569) - you deserved it (32873)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML

#8580764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14339) - you deserved it (5428)

On 02/23/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Good_old_Grim (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

#14543942
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (5902)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:45am - work - by bitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18998) - you deserved it (3202)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

#9018628
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15774) - you deserved it (1734)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:10am - misc - by lance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

#8999294
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (1963)

On 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by heartless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML

#9128496
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (3904)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:31am - misc - by Lea (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I requested two hours off for tomorrow afternoon. My supervisor and manager called me into the office to talk to me about how important it is to be in the office as much as possible. A little later, my supervisor told me that for budgeting reasons, I have to take 3 non-paid days off. FML

#12150388
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (2149)

On 07/27/2010 at 7:25pm - work - by hurikan68 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5437) - you deserved it (21008)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

#14658827
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18865) - you deserved it (11822)

On 01/21/2011 at 3:35am - animals - by twinkie2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to school prepared to speak in front of a whole bunch of kids and talk about how great my middle school is. I spent an hour on the speech and took the 45 minute drive there. Turns out the coordinator of the school only called me in to pass out brochures. FML

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

#19375581
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11607) - you deserved it (2954)

On 03/30/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

#10289820
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (8486)

On 05/02/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by everyonehatesme (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



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