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Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words "You're fired." FML

#14074861
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (2441)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

#14032735
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14541) - you deserved it (21244)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

#14634381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10956) - you deserved it (33527)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my power went out due to a huge snow storm. I was in desperate need of candles and flashlights. I had to walk to the store since the roads were closed. I walked 4 miles in the blizzard. When I got home, the power came back on. FML

#14727307
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (8161)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by iamlauraheremecry (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

#15061511
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (3678)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Josie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

#17380999
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27065) - you deserved it (2617)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:18pm - work - by joshua - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to visit my alcoholic father. He remembered to ask me how my dog Reggie is, but could not remember the name of "my pal." My "pal" is also my wife of four years. FML

#17674515
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (2239)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24565) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (2507)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

#19705256
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (4196)

On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

#20058701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (1660)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:06am - health - by needtoscratch (man) - United States (Georgia)



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