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Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14742) - you deserved it (37557)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29334) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (8585)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, I went running to the gym on the way to work and I forgot to bring a spare shirt. All I have to wear is a wet white tshirt. FML

#448
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9491) - you deserved it (18944)

On 12/04/2008 at 2:23am - work - by RadYoHeaD - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML

#488
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17753) - you deserved it (4269)

On 12/10/2008 at 6:09am - money - by dmlk - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

#1649
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5012) - you deserved it (18217)

On 01/18/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Colleen - United States (Florida)

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

#2316
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18672) - you deserved it (6407)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:12am - love - by LC - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20317) - you deserved it (1614)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

#1008
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14204) - you deserved it (9587)

On 01/12/2009 at 3:34pm - work - by Leaving Early Fail - United States (California)

Today, after failing my Ls twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mums car into an old ladys fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

#5163445
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6810) - you deserved it (33083)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

#5424386
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (6085)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:43am - intimacy - by fuzzy (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

#6958875
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/26/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by taylor_eileen - United States (Indiana)

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

#6967912
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (3844)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by jaded_woman (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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