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Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

#19696496
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19766) - you deserved it (7331)

On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (1524)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

#19826563
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12006) - you deserved it (23836)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States

Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML

#19892376
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (5062)

On 07/04/2012 at 8:50pm - money - by jenjam (woman) -

Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML

#19882895
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18381) - you deserved it (5181)

On 07/02/2012 at 9:20pm - misc - by thanksdad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (1657)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

#19985315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (1619)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

#20047256
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20693) - you deserved it (1427)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (2087)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21295) - you deserved it (1746)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (2960)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML



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