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Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (13651)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42565) - you deserved it (6860)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

#21251987
62 comments

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (3284)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (482) - you deserved it (2757)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (2780)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML

#21332217
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (8075)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm - animals - by dragonfyre73 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (3469)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24618) - you deserved it (5083)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

#493
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (7042)

On 12/11/2008 at 7:21am - kids - by fataldisease - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

#569
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (1987)

On 12/22/2008 at 12:43am - money - by daddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom was telling me a funny story about when I was young. So I said 'yeah I was funny huh?' She replied 'Yep, I had a funny one and a pretty one'. FML

#13534
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (2347)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Indiana)



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