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Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

#5827048
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (7399)

On 10/14/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by thelandofoz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

#5959994
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36749) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by iross (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

#6335196
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34003) - you deserved it (1981)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

#6701307
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (4440)

On 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23157) - you deserved it (3625)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

#14312521
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8871) - you deserved it (34711)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by wench (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found myself crying in the bathroom because I started to feel lonely and depressed. My mother came into the bathroom, hearing me cry and gave me an hour long speech about what a beautiful human being I am... And to not forget to lose weight. FML

#13511696
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (5420)

On 10/19/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12326) - you deserved it (27336)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

#11238681
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34335) - you deserved it (18313)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:42am - health - by Joy (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I got a call from Red Cross about the blood donation I gave last week. They informed me that I have Hepatitis C. FML

#14524206
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38517) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Serbia

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

#20086643
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)

Today, I went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and we started chatting over dinner. That's when he told me about his paranoia, and how he's unsure if I'm out to get him or not. FML

#19747527
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (2224)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

#19559946
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (3453)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States



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