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Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teeny-tiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didn't shake my hand back. FML

by ChrissiOfTheHill / 06/18/2009 at 5:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

by Blah / 03/30/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML

by raerae / 04/24/2009 at 3:25am / Germany (Hessen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML

by BassGuy / 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

by veevee / 08/17/2009 at 4:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

by Rockyio / 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

by thelandofoz / 10/14/2009 at 10:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

by iross / 10/23/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

by Poser / 12/19/2009 at 11:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

by everybodysfool / 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy