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Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

#20774465
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48383) - you deserved it (4438)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

#20886598
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41998) - you deserved it (11315)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:31pm - work - by Anoymous (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (18158)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

#21104621
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (3673)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by kaheera4 (woman) - United States

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

#21231087
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34903) - you deserved it (6141)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by poolfail -

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

#21290736
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (6972)

On 11/02/2014 at 7:11pm - money - by ethawesome1125 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (3983)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34217) - you deserved it (2827)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML

#803
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (3870)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by KiloLima01 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

#3440456
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36132) - you deserved it (7076)

On 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by Heethersays (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

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