Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML

#19476471
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (2932)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by penny-dropping - United States

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

#16827644
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32855) - you deserved it (2519)

On 06/24/2011 at 1:11am - work - by Leah (woman) - United States

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23382) - you deserved it (2723)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

#18360025
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (13073)

On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

#20032826
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (15782)

On 08/20/2012 at 10:30pm - misc - by ThisGirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

#18954883
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (4017)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:20pm - work - by robert (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8762) - you deserved it (20195)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (4773)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) -

Today, there is an annual solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML

#19653342
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (3132)

On 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by VocalizedBoar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML

#20023891
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10400) - you deserved it (22679)

On 08/16/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

#19874685
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (3060)

On 07/01/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by rinala -

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

#20748170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46414) - you deserved it (3487)

On 06/26/2013 at 10:08am - money - by weneedthatmoneytoliveon (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: