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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slip. FML

#7135383
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6461) - you deserved it (31302)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:50pm - health - by fml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML

#7467721
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (4423)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:29am - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (2231)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

#7899176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (4062)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

#12107955
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29239) - you deserved it (3836)

On 07/25/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Luke (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML

#10906300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (5381)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by smellyfeet (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

#14043145
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (2308)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by beer guy -

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

#15091359
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/23/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by PissedAtLife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I filed my taxes. As a divorcée with children, I was supposed to get $3,500 back from the IRS. Alas, my ex's new wife already filed with my children, who don't live with her. I now owe the IRS $250. FML

#15708365
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42993) - you deserved it (3869)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:07pm - money - by fuckmylifeLulu - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

#16944357
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (8123)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML

#15447160
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (2884)

On 03/23/2011 at 10:58am - misc - by jeanstein -

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

#17876001
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (2577)

On 10/01/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Sickofbeingsick (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML

#19476471
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25760) - you deserved it (2826)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by penny-dropping - United States



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