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Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52025) - you deserved it (11750)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14985) - you deserved it (51687)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I’m starting my 28th year with 28 cents on my bank account. FML

#227
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46629) - you deserved it (12384)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:41am - money - by Yohm - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

#354
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29397) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/21/2008 at 5:06am - love - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28028) - you deserved it (5834)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

#3440456
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (7392)

On 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by Heethersays (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

#1969989
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41771) - you deserved it (17474)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (3822)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

#6607
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46721) - you deserved it (4099)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

#1188952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45058) - you deserved it (11116)

On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML

#5464653
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38094) - you deserved it (7086)

On 09/25/2009 at 10:54am - love - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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