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Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

by imsorry / 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML

by dragonfyre73 / 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I’m starting my 28th year with 28 cents on my bank account. FML

by Yohm / 11/06/2008 at 4:41am / Money

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

by Mary / 11/21/2008 at 5:06am / Love

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

by daddy / 12/22/2008 at 12:43am / Money

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

by The L word / 01/30/2009 at 10:28am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

by crazymuch / 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

by Escape! / 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

by Jesus / 04/21/2009 at 10:39am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

by Heethersays / 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I went boating. In the middle of the lake, we decided to jump in. We put our valuables in the boat and jumped in. When I tried to get back in the boat, it flipped over, and our cellphones, along with my car keys, are at the bottom of the lake. FML

by p-man / 08/27/2009 at 3:34am / United States / Miscellaneous