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Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46468) - you deserved it (6198)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML

#20705634
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55534) - you deserved it (4741)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11pm - love - by TheThirdWheel - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48622) - you deserved it (8333)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

#20760393
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (2824)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (7821)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45417) - you deserved it (7265)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

#21005822
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39354) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/26/2013 at 1:48am - misc - by thanks_world - United States (Washington)

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

#21076482
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34491) - you deserved it (9279)

On 03/03/2014 at 12:18am - misc - by ealovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

#21098912
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42001) - you deserved it (4557)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by notamum (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38670) - you deserved it (4852)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48581) - you deserved it (4540)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42563) - you deserved it (2919)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

#21290736
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36636) - you deserved it (7228)

On 11/02/2014 at 7:11pm - money - by ethawesome1125 - United States (Texas)



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