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Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

#2991081
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9019) - you deserved it (62198)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by stelno - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (2943)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35283) - you deserved it (9067)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived at work only to be arrested and accused of stealing over $8000 from my job. 5 hours later at the police station, the discovery was made that the actual thief had an employee ID one digit different than mine. He works at another location over 1200 miles away. FML

#256549
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71989) - you deserved it (2627)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:35pm - work - by Jong (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me for not showing up for work that night. I was never informed I got the job. I missed my first day of work. FML

#1214347
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66735) - you deserved it (5455)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

#1783104
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19135) - you deserved it (79408)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

#5744040
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39395) - you deserved it (3650)

On 10/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Charon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML

#6068555
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (12557)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by JZ (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

#6389403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28512) - you deserved it (4910)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (14773)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

#6792186
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8364) - you deserved it (35567)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by owmyballs - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (6210)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

#7295020
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (22553)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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