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Sunday 30 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

#21462073
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17722) - you deserved it (2367)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21462173
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11693) - you deserved it (1070)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, marks the third girlfriend in a row that has broken up with me for my terrible dandruff. I can't control it as I was born with psoriasis. All three girls called me pathetic for "making up" a disease to try to get them to stay. FML

#21462179
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13354) - you deserved it (889)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by babypenguin00 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML

#21460168
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (1446)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:28pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Liguria)

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

#21460295
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (6599)

On 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Animeislyfe - United States (Georgia)

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

#21460529
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17160) - you deserved it (6044)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

#21461220
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (1486)

On 08/27/2015 at 2:46am - misc - by philip708 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

#21461274
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (1897)

On 08/27/2015 at 8:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, I found out that the medicine I've been taking for my headaches is responsible for my headaches getting even worse. FML

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

#21461377
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17760) - you deserved it (1146)

On 08/27/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by PositiveElectron - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

#21461585
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (3127)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:13am - health - by unsuckable (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14537) - you deserved it (2558)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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