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Saturday 1 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16621) - you deserved it (1201)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML

#21449844
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11836) - you deserved it (17901)

On 07/31/2015 at 1:38am - intimacy - by doodoobref - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8351) - you deserved it (13095)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (2010)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

#21448834
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (1394)

On 07/28/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by smellslikeahangover - United States (California)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (1333)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (2473)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21785) - you deserved it (1833)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

#21449508
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (1287)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

#21449535
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18939) - you deserved it (1734)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:22pm - kids - by GidleyWife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

#21449629
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16871) - you deserved it (1382)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:04pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML

#21450122
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12394) - you deserved it (946)

On 07/31/2015 at 5:04pm - love - by single and unbuggered (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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