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Sunday 24 May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28256) - you deserved it (3029)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (9092)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30520) - you deserved it (2455)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19915) - you deserved it (17383)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (2262)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

#21412921
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (11527)

On 05/20/2015 at 8:03am - work - by boss_daughter - United States

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

#21413979
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (2297)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by xolaurennnn - United States

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15976) - you deserved it (1551)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (1762)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

#21414400
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18571) - you deserved it (1007)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (1548)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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