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Sunday 7 February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (2195)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17500) - you deserved it (2711)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (3931)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

#21523102
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (967)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

#21523419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12932) - you deserved it (2161)

On 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by notagoodtime - United States (California)

Today, after years of lonesome birthdays overseas, I am finally able to celebrate the occasion at home. My best friend of 10 years will not be attending because her boyfriend of two months is having his party the same night. FML

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (1352)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

#21522725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (1406)

On 02/04/2016 at 10:16am - animals - by uninvited (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (2218)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

#21521764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (1440)

On 02/01/2016 at 11:37am - love - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19002) - you deserved it (1250)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (3792)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18137) - you deserved it (1480)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)



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Friday 5 February 2016

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