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Sunday 19 April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26825) - you deserved it (2924)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML

#21392927
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31259) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/13/2015 at 12:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25706) - you deserved it (2631)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (17104)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25081) - you deserved it (3049)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (3641)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25831) - you deserved it (4875)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

#21393373
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25935) - you deserved it (3602)

On 04/14/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (3384)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

#21394245
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (1718)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Devildrake (man) - Australia

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (2137)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (2896)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)



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