Choose the period

Wednesday 9 July 2014

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

by photoman / 07/14/2014 at 5:31am / Austria (Wien) / Geek

Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML

by AFH2O / 07/14/2014 at 7:04pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

by jobless / 07/09/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

by ballbreath / 07/16/2014 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

by cassieono / 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

by dogggg / 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm / India (Maharashtra) / Animals

Today, I taught my 23-year-old boyfriend how to correctly brush his teeth. FML

by stinky breath / 07/15/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

by crippled / 07/08/2014 at 4:40am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2014 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

by anonymous / 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my wooden floor gave me a splinter on the bottom of my foot. I don't have the flexibility nor the eyesight to find it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 5:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

by smpenn89 / 07/16/2014 at 10:26am / United States (Ohio) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.