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Wednesday 9 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (61950)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51638) - you deserved it (5109)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53521) - you deserved it (6650)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (6342)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49779) - you deserved it (11095)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53062) - you deserved it (3961)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43520) - you deserved it (3790)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45707) - you deserved it (6398)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49028) - you deserved it (4144)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46525) - you deserved it (3346)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49469) - you deserved it (4282)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41986) - you deserved it (4556)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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