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Wednesday 9 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38590) - you deserved it (18928)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (49354)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52932) - you deserved it (5651)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (7583)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48406) - you deserved it (17485)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58485) - you deserved it (4949)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44112) - you deserved it (14789)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44204) - you deserved it (3277)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43430) - you deserved it (7037)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (5290)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47032) - you deserved it (4575)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (21075)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)



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