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Wednesday 2 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50153) - you deserved it (28332)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56757) - you deserved it (8458)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54150) - you deserved it (4618)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61289) - you deserved it (5767) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (4488)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44079) - you deserved it (18428)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60563) - you deserved it (12920)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48148) - you deserved it (7669)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (46284)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45998) - you deserved it (3767)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52320) - you deserved it (4495)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)



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