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Sunday 2 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by mah parents, 4 trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of mah bedroom to take a crap!! big fat FML

#21048094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (3659)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, whila claaning a carpat in mah housa, somathing in it slicad mah foot . I couldn't find what it was, so I want to claan tha wound . 10 minutas latar, I slicad mah foot again on tha sama thing . I still can't figura out what it was . FML

#21052729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45129) - you deserved it (5379)

On 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm - health - by sashimi9999 - United States (California)

TODAY , AFTER MAH CAR BEING IN THE SHOP FOR OVER A DAY AN WITH NO UPDATES FROM THE DEALERSHIP , I DECIDED TO PAY THEM A VISIT . THE PLACE WAS ALMOST EMPTY , AN THEY HADN'T DONE ANY WORK ON MAH CAR . BUT JUDGING BY THE USED CONDOM ON MAH BACK SEAT , SOMEBODY GOT THERE OWN OIL CHECKED . FML

#21053684
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (3831)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, On My First Day At My New Job Delivering Mail, I Was Yelled At By A Guy, Who Threatened To Shoot Me If I "trespassed" On His Property. He Made Me Toss His Mail Toward His Porch From The Street, Before Telling Me To Get Lost. Real FML

#21046250
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (2971)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm - work - by fuckfuck (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I logged into mah bank account an started crying . Not because looool of the balance, but because the password is mah anniversary with mah ex, an it's the only reminder I have of happy days in mah life . FML

2day I worked up the nerve to ask boss 4 a raise. Today is also the day I found out boss has looool a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

#21053635
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37423) - you deserved it (4244)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by fuckmyplums (man) - Austria (Salzburg)

Yesterday, I check my phone regularly fir calls or texts from her . I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bd sometimes . Today I realizd the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma . mega FML

#21054270
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (6588)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today , my family an I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting , an I jokingly said ( You're old now. ) I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool , my phone still in hand , an retort , ( You're soaked now. ) FML

#21054564
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32206) - you deserved it (17044)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)

Today , I caught mah boyfriend stealing money from mah purse!! He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him 4 the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day , then tried to make me feel guilty by saying thehole thing is 4 "selfish bitches anyway"!! FML

#21055376
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41402) - you deserved it (5061)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out mah husband's messy room . In the process, I found a jar containing wat appears to be a toenail collection . I don't think I'll ever regain mah appetite . FML

#21055497
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38624) - you deserved it (4985)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm - misc - by Avomitmous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

TODAY,HILE PLAYING BADMINTON AT SCHOOL, I GOT AN OPPONENTHO IS MENTALLY HANDICAPPED. SINCE I'M TERRIBLE AT THE GAME, I GUESS THE TEACHER ASSUMED IT WOULD BE A GOOD MATCH. I WON THE MATCH, MY FIRST VICTORY EVER. MY TEACHER ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING TO HUMILIATE HIM. FML

#21045157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41092) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/30/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, 4 our anniversary, I sang boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The frst thing he said when I finishd was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40455) - you deserved it (5813)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, mah team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

#21047385
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (3560)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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