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Sunday 2 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you deserved it (6992)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48976) - you deserved it (3753)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52045) - you deserved it (3869)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44567) - you deserved it (5984)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51474) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38654) - you deserved it (7918)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (7331)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42328) - you deserved it (6045)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

#21054564
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33662) - you deserved it (17641)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my wedding photos back. The only decent picture of my husband and me together also featured a fat guy in a crop top behind us. FML

#21041939
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45207) - you deserved it (4969)

On 01/27/2014 at 3:55pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39155) - you deserved it (3440)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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