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Sunday 2 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52585) - you deserved it (22977)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44009) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57148) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54217) - you deserved it (21971)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (60149)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44963) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53536) - you deserved it (5708)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59211) - you deserved it (6679)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46644) - you deserved it (4093)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (8026)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)



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