Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 26 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, an I'm going to be looool sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. fat FML

#21040204
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53517) - you deserved it (4965)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

today after working 12 hours, mah scooter broke down 2 miles from home . I had to walk myself and mah scooter home all uphill . My boyfriend and his friends drove by, honked and kept going . FML

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight causd by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53468) - you deserved it (4473)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today , I droppd mah phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice r now frozen into the power port , and I can't get the charger in.

#21034026
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39027) - you deserved it (12498)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by merrr - Canada

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (3890)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

TODAY, AFTER I TOOK MY FIRST SET OF EXAMS, MY PROFESSOR POSTED ON TWITTER, SCOFFING AT HOW STUPID ONE STUDENT'S ANSWER WAS. THE ANSWER HE QUOTED WAS ONE THAT I WROTE.

#21036248
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46542) - you deserved it (9432)

On 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND WAS SPENDING THE DAY AT MAH PLACE. LATER ON, I WALKED IN WHILE SHE WAS MAKING LUNCH. SHE HAD A JAR OF MAYO IN HER HAND, AN I JOKED, "I HAVE SOME MAYO, BUT IT DOESN'T COME FROM A JAR." SHE HAD A BLUETOOTH HEADSET ON, AN WAS IN A CALL WITH HER FATHER. 5ML

#21037484
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (22499)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, mah mom askd me when I'm going to propose to mah girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

#21038079
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43605) - you deserved it (4872)

On 01/24/2014 at 10:11am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

today I ran into mah apartment and let one rip... since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out... and laughd at me 4 a good 20 minutes. 5ML

#21038740
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37424) - you deserved it (6118)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm - misc - by DJ (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I had to explain to mah father that when mah friends sleep over , it's not acceptable to sneak into mah room in the middle of the night and dig through there stuff. FML

#21039686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49499) - you deserved it (4002)

On 01/25/2014 at 3:34pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work taacing a cooking class, ona of ta kids askd if tay could usa a knifa to alp ma cop vagatablas !! I said no, bacausa it was vary sarp an only staff mambar ara allowd to usa tam !! Just as I said tat, ta knifa slicd troug ta tip of ma tumb !! FML

#21042937
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39835) - you deserved it (10907)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)

Today... te igligt of my day was wen I figurd out tat my little broter's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. mega FML

#21048030
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (7186)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I asked my sister wat she thought of my boyfriend. She said , "He's nice. Deserves better than you , really." FML

#21048143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42584) - you deserved it (5768)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: