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Friday 17 January 2014

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Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that the condom in my wallet has been there so long it's left a mark. FML

by arsenalfcboy / 01/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

by JaneChemi / 01/15/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML

by Kenny / 01/24/2014 at 2:16am / Nigeria (Lagos) / Work

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2014 at 4:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

by ugh / 01/21/2014 at 1:55pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Work

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

by cjgreer70 / 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2014 at 4:08pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML

by yes i meant ex-boyfriend / 01/18/2014 at 4:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

by bebooneo / 01/23/2014 at 5:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

by DJ / 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous