Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43115) - you deserved it (8467)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (16752)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45729) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML

#21037915
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34905) - you deserved it (7486)

On 01/24/2014 at 2:16am - work - by Kenny (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

#21027732
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52788) - you deserved it (5228)

On 01/14/2014 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49816) - you deserved it (6306)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

#21032373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43824) - you deserved it (6364)

On 01/19/2014 at 12:17am - kids - by MommyProblems (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43966) - you deserved it (5866)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (4700)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML

#21027789
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43348) - you deserved it (4120)

On 01/14/2014 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39350) - you deserved it (20903)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (5175)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: