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Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51774) - you deserved it (5388)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (4995)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47826) - you deserved it (4633)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54586) - you deserved it (5959)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48711) - you deserved it (10861)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (20602)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

#21034982
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47551) - you deserved it (7670)

On 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by idiot says pussy (man) - United States

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

#21038371
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (3751)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Profucktardor (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52064) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (7853)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45738) - you deserved it (6049)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

#21033078
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52572) - you deserved it (10991)

On 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (5999)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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