Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 7 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sang "happy birthday" to my best friend. Sadly, it was while waitressing at work, where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

#21024621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53908) - you deserved it (4058)

On 01/11/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by left out - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (3596)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (4407)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41843) - you deserved it (7865)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML

#21018719
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53946) - you deserved it (6379)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Seriously? -

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36393) - you deserved it (17889)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45493) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after much debate I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML

#21024170
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39959) - you deserved it (9694)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:49am - misc - by madib33 (woman) - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

#21025608
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50502) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/12/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by shakinmahbuttbutt (man) - United States

Today, before a blind date with a girl set up by my flatmate, I put some aftershave on. Then I realised I had forgotten my contact lenses. When I put them in it caused so much pain that in my attempt to reach the bathroom I walked into a wall. When I got there, she saw my swollen face and left. FML

Today, I realized I willingly support my boyfriend's alcoholism, because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML

#21023769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38972) - you deserved it (16985)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (5577)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

#21020071
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (4825)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:41am - love - by fat - United States (South Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: