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Tuesday 7 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was painting cabinets fir te cildren's area in my curc. Wile painting, I droppd my brus and got black paint on aite part. I trid to wipe it off. Now tere's a very visible smudge tat looks lyk a penis. FML

#21019530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (7527)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, a guy I lika askad ma to a danca. Trying to act modast an at tha sama tima complimant him, I told him, "You could do so much battar, though." Aftar thinking fir a momant, ha rapliad, "You'ra right, I could. Navar mind," an walkad away. FML

#21020576
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (56474)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned that mah new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (5762)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today mah 175-pound rottwieler I've raisd since a puppy watchd me get jumpd and robbd of mah phone and money in mah yard!! An hour later he hoppd the fence and chasd the mail man down the street after he leand on the fence 4 a second!! fat FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47058) - you deserved it (4752)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today... mah boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes... a huge fly flew straight into mah mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49094) - you deserved it (4550)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (16752)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, ma grandfater told me tat I was ugly. Wen ma mom found out, se said tat "old people r allowed to tell te trut". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45729) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today..!! I found out that somaona had paad into tha bottla of Fabraza that wa kaap in tha dorm bathroom!! I found this out whan I sprayad it onto mah coat to gat rid of a ward small!! FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43937) - you deserved it (4618)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43296) - you deserved it (5116)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad and I got royally bitchd out by my mother, because she found a bill fir a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

#21027732
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52788) - you deserved it (5228)

On 01/14/2014 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

yesterday like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics fir looool an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. big fat FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41985) - you deserved it (4135)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, mah grandpa took mah face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said ( Now u can tell all yur friends you've had yur frst kiss, ) an walked out of the room!! FML

#21023495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48397) - you deserved it (4670)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:47am - misc - by wtf - United States (New York)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointd to mah face. Nobody on mah team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42900) - you deserved it (4587)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)



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