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Tuesday 7 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

#21020576
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26523) - you deserved it (52166)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41050) - you deserved it (5373)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (4559)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45454) - you deserved it (3839)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (4159)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (15660)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45267) - you deserved it (4588)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39803) - you deserved it (3663)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

#21023884
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35957) - you deserved it (3887)

On 01/10/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by lk mm, n vwls (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

#21024822
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52157) - you deserved it (6271)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying hysterically and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." He continued crying for a good twenty minutes. FML

#21025291
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46754) - you deserved it (4125)

On 01/12/2014 at 3:03am - kids - by -_- - United States

Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML

#21027789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41522) - you deserved it (3894)

On 01/14/2014 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (3911)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)



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