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Tuesday 7 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40322) - you deserved it (7645)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

#21020576
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29236) - you deserved it (56487)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47079) - you deserved it (4753)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49104) - you deserved it (4550)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (16756)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (4508)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (4619)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43303) - you deserved it (5116)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

#21027732
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52799) - you deserved it (5231)

On 01/14/2014 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43511) - you deserved it (4274)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

#21023495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48413) - you deserved it (4670)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:47am - misc - by wtf - United States (New York)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (4588)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)



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