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Tuesday 31 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42425) - you deserved it (4399)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

#21017976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (4348)

On 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm - misc - by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36424) - you deserved it (3239)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51539) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

#21018283
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37695) - you deserved it (5951)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by frozen solid - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

#21010039
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:57am - health - by candidcripple (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (4122)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML

#21016650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39673) - you deserved it (3535)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40514) - you deserved it (5640)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46365) - you deserved it (4775)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

#21020071
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (3891)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:41am - love - by fat - United States (South Carolina)



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