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Tuesday 31 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

#21010039
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45274) - you deserved it (4207)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:57am - health - by candidcripple (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (3878)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46063) - you deserved it (4952)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46220) - you deserved it (20940)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38624) - you deserved it (4947)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML

#21014713
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (3567)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by neta_1996 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45816) - you deserved it (4748)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

#21018283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39464) - you deserved it (6283)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by frozen solid - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (6205)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52104) - you deserved it (6045)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

#21012505
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44427) - you deserved it (3731)

On 01/01/2014 at 2:49am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML

#21016650
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (4103)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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