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Monday 30 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

#21010566
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47293) - you deserved it (3291)

On 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm - health - by bad luck skier - United States (New York)

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38726) - you deserved it (4955)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

#21013314
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by Okay_Then (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML

#21016650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (4335)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (9490)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

#21011862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40656) - you deserved it (4131)

On 12/31/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47394) - you deserved it (4879)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

#21013942
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38602) - you deserved it (5946)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML

#21014729
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (3486)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:24pm - misc - by Frustrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

#21011264
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38765) - you deserved it (3077)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML



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