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Monday 30 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45793) - you deserved it (4747)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

#21018283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (6281)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by frozen solid - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42578) - you deserved it (6205)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52073) - you deserved it (6041)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

#21012505
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (3730)

On 01/01/2014 at 2:49am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML

#21016650
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (4103)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

#21010566
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you deserved it (3122)

On 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm - health - by bad luck skier - United States (New York)

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37692) - you deserved it (5841)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

#21011264
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37208) - you deserved it (2915)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35669) - you deserved it (9376)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

#21011862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38726) - you deserved it (3929)

On 12/31/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

#21013942
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38471) - you deserved it (5936)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)



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