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Monday 30 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

#21014568
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (7794)

On 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm - misc - by Andrew (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

#21015236
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44147) - you deserved it (4955)

On 01/03/2014 at 6:03am - kids - by noway (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

#21012505
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44559) - you deserved it (3735)

On 01/01/2014 at 2:49am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

#21010039
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45414) - you deserved it (4217)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:57am - health - by candidcripple (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML

#21014713
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45384) - you deserved it (3741)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by neta_1996 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

#21015718
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm - misc - by estranger (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

#21017976
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (4739)

On 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm - misc - by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you deserved it (6054)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (7652)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

#21017924
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48423) - you deserved it (3731)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39824) - you deserved it (3891)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML

#21018719
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52965) - you deserved it (6295)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Seriously? -

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47130) - you deserved it (5059)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)



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