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Monday 30 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out ma ex boyfriend is still obsessed wit me. Apparently e named is dog after me an talks to er like se's a real person. FML

#21018719
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50482) - you deserved it (6026)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Seriously? -

Today I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her she ran off and knocked over the planter smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. real FML

Taday mah 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue!! After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her y she did it!! ( I wanted to get Blake to notice me, ) she said!! Blake is our neighbor's convict son!! mega FML

Today, I woke up hungover an with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, an I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. big fat FML

#21012912
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37289) - you deserved it (8555)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex looool once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58041) - you deserved it (7842)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

2day I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to eyebrows!! I now have very little of eyebrows remaining, an just as little idea which idiot looool in family pulld this stupid excuse of a prank!! FML

#21017976
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40652) - you deserved it (4641)

On 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm - misc - by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Yesterday...hile sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus... an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "thoseho actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus... stepping heavily on broken foot. FML

#21010039
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45277) - you deserved it (4207)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:57am - health - by candidcripple (man) - United States

Today My Boyfriend Found An Old Nude Of Me On His Best Friend's PS3. I Had No Idea This Guy Existd Until We Movd In With Him. FML

Today... I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason... our bathroom was out of toilet paper... so I had to quickly run to the nereest store to buy more... only to shit mah pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39724) - you deserved it (3878)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

TODAY, MAH WIFE GOT SO DRUNK SHE KISSD ANOTHER GUYHEN THE BALL DROPPD. MEGA FML

#21012251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46064) - you deserved it (4952)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost ma vrginity. We did it on te floor in ma step-sister's room, an te entre time e kept pusing ma ead into te carpet. I lost ma V-card but gained rug burn on ma face tat looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46221) - you deserved it (20928)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passd me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzld that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarifid at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (4948)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today , mah boyfriand broka up with ma two days bafora mah birthday. Only to maka it worsa , I found out that ha had baan taxting mah mothar on how to braak up with ma. To maka it avan worsa , sha was giving him tips. FML

#21014713
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43315) - you deserved it (3569)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by neta_1996 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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