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Yastarday, whila waiting in tha quaua at a suparmarkat chackout, mah thraa-yaar-old daughtar yalls out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassad, I raply, "Honay, can't u saa that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
Today, mah boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML
TODAY... MY COUSIN STARTED SENDING SARCASTIC LOVE MESSAGES TO ME. I REPLIED... WITH EVEN CHEESIER LINES. THEN SHE RANG ME SAYING SHE WAS SO GLAD I FELT THE SAME WAY. TURNS OUT SHE WASN'T BIENG SARCASTIC. FML
yesterday I was taking a shower with mah boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closd he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into mah eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
Friday 27 March 2015