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Tuesday 3 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47465) - you deserved it (7366)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML

#20980385
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36718) - you deserved it (14999)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - work - by russianfail - United States (Texas)

Today, I dropped a $400 bottle of wine while trying to get the cork out. FML

#20982484
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42333) - you deserved it (16216)

On 12/06/2013 at 2:08am - money - by butterfingers - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

#20983819
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39309) - you deserved it (2829)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34787) - you deserved it (5639)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML

#20980543
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43207) - you deserved it (2404)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48534) - you deserved it (4539)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years old. FML

#20987666
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (8930)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by Somerandomguy64 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

#20978054
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51349) - you deserved it (3257)

On 12/02/2013 at 8:28am - money - by Akestarr - United States (Indiana)

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

#20979337
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46936) - you deserved it (3767)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm - misc - by phonegotlostinthepark - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38234) - you deserved it (2855)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML

#20982787
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (2665)

On 12/06/2013 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)



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