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Tuesday 3 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43328) - you deserved it (3233)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

#20981967
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (2069)

On 12/05/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Lulu - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51104) - you deserved it (5331)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48671) - you deserved it (5676)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49407) - you deserved it (3684)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45264) - you deserved it (3708)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

#20985907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46453) - you deserved it (3060)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

#20979412
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (3776)

On 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by nemesis5196523 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

#20980593
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (3943)

On 12/04/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46096) - you deserved it (8197)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (3234)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

#20982946
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36125) - you deserved it (3306)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by oh (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)



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