Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 24 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (8312)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40161) - you deserved it (4194)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

#20932595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47760) - you deserved it (5594)

On 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (4025)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33369) - you deserved it (11251)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36810) - you deserved it (17486)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40450) - you deserved it (3324)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47732) - you deserved it (4354)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34675) - you deserved it (18714)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that, although I have the same job title and complete the same work as my male colleagues, I get paid 15% less, purely because I'm a girl. FML

#20939397
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56223) - you deserved it (8147)

On 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you deserved it (3634)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (4341)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: