Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45747) - you deserved it (4806)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52323) - you deserved it (4846)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40167) - you deserved it (4313)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (2800)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

#20928702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42582) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49774) - you deserved it (4401)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40465) - you deserved it (3110)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, a friend sent me to a guy he knows who repairs various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE and HIPSTER into the back panel. FML

#20934676
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39103) - you deserved it (7468)

On 10/26/2013 at 3:48pm - money - by fuckyouverymuch - United States (California)

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

#20935219
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (2556)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:57am - work - by KatieElizabeth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML

#20930470
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38981) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (3968)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML

#20935493
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39109) - you deserved it (2549)

On 10/27/2013 at 10:30am - health - by BadLuck (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: