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Monday 14 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

#20926020
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (5883)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:30am - love - by AchievementUnlocked? - United States

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37514) - you deserved it (3792)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40029) - you deserved it (3776)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

#20924836
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46010) - you deserved it (2798)

On 10/18/2013 at 2:13am - health - by Jan (man) - United States

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

#20923587
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (27017)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

#20924792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43430) - you deserved it (4592)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by nerdywaitress (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44943) - you deserved it (5544)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

#20921448
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45217) - you deserved it (5270)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:51am - work - by collegegrad (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48372) - you deserved it (3395)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44171) - you deserved it (3005)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43196) - you deserved it (3465)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)



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