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Monday 14 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

#20923824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42026) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/17/2013 at 9:43am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

#20925040
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37905) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/18/2013 at 10:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31616) - you deserved it (10641)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

#20923550
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42570) - you deserved it (3828)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41919) - you deserved it (4259)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43318) - you deserved it (4420)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39473) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41043) - you deserved it (3677)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (3095)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45957) - you deserved it (5070)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44805) - you deserved it (5518)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51031) - you deserved it (4633)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States



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