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Monday 14 October 2013

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Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

by Huedadaa / 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm / France (Picardie) / Kids

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

by highlydisgusted / 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

by Wheredigowrong / 10/21/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

by U_U / 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

by ShittyProposal / 10/20/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 6:57am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

by Michelle / 10/17/2013 at 7:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 2:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

by other woman / 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

by notready / 10/15/2013 at 2:49am / Australia / Love

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

by maxkeyftw / 10/17/2013 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

by cantcloselegs / 10/20/2013 at 8:39am / United States / Health

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Health