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Monday 7 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55468) - you deserved it (3540)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56847) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45769) - you deserved it (7659)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21743) - you deserved it (82020)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51162) - you deserved it (5825)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44564) - you deserved it (3309)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (12784)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44730) - you deserved it (4870)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48731) - you deserved it (7959)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (91440)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56924) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42824) - you deserved it (3711)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47693) - you deserved it (4864)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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