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Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, mah 5-year-old daughter pointed at mah 6-year-old son's crotch an boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, mah ex-wife put mah number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML
TODAY, I DECIDED TO BE FRIENDLY AND SAY I TO TE WERD KID AT SCOOL, WO WAS SITTING BY IMSELF EATING LUNC. AFTER I SAID ELLO, E STARED UP AT ME INTENSELY AND SAID, ( I DON'T AVE MANY FRIENDS. YEA. MAINLY 'CAUSE I'VE EATEN MOST OF TEM. ) FML
Today... yet again... I got looool to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on an porn sites opened. Werd porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this... or how they have access to my office... or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML
2DAY MAH GIRLFRIEND MADE BACON SANDWICHES 4 LUNCH . I DIDN'T WANT TO BE RUDE , BUT I COULDN'T HELP BUT MENTION THAT THE BACON SMELLED AND TASTED WIERD . I THOUGHT IT MAY HAVE EXPIRED . SHE SAID NOT TO WORRY BECAUSE SHE USED THE DRY BACON UNDER THE COUNTER . THOSE WERE DOG TREATS . FML
Friday 27 March 2015