Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 24 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (2721)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

#20900504
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35745) - you deserved it (2079)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (14335)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

#20903388
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36802) - you deserved it (3477)

On 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm - kids - by HGTV (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37876) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32195) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

#20900036
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (8233)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:10am - kids - by ahuman - United States

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (4224)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML

#20893951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40355) - you deserved it (2784)

On 09/24/2013 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML

#20897826
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (5871)

On 09/27/2013 at 8:51am - love - by propose_you_freakin_coward (man) - Singapore

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45051) - you deserved it (2659)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: