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Tuesday 24 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59288) - you deserved it (3994)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (4542)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36694) - you deserved it (3100)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43261) - you deserved it (3449)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (4939)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41983) - you deserved it (6513)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36141) - you deserved it (3452)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (9577)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34143) - you deserved it (4302)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (3006)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while cleaning tables at the fast food place where I work, I had to remove two human teeth from a table top. FML

#20897664
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37608) - you deserved it (2716)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:04am - work - by pancakessdsjsn - United States (California)



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