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Tuesday 24 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

#20898629
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (4492)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62053) - you deserved it (4177)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41062) - you deserved it (4553)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (3454)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, while cleaning tables at the fast food place where I work, I had to remove two human teeth from a table top. FML

#20897664
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (2722)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:04am - work - by pancakessdsjsn - United States (California)

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42066) - you deserved it (4957)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54877) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49524) - you deserved it (5156)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42097) - you deserved it (6531)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36249) - you deserved it (3458)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (9959)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34251) - you deserved it (4312)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)



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