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Tuesday 24 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was using the bathroom at McDonald's when my wallet fell out of my pocket. A lady reached into my stall and tried to grab it. FML

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35795) - you deserved it (3107)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42089) - you deserved it (4958)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

#20892986
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47757) - you deserved it (6189)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by User (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

#20899972
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (2890)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37051) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (10353)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML

#20897826
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44883) - you deserved it (6437)

On 09/27/2013 at 8:51am - love - by propose_you_freakin_coward (man) - Singapore

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

#20899491
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (3732)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

#20895521
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42339) - you deserved it (8502)

On 09/25/2013 at 10:42am - intimacy - by what (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

#20896754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (3296)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

#20901708
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36497) - you deserved it (12205)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by sothisishowidie - Guam

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (4994)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)



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