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Tuesday 24 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (2725)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (41773)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

#20892563
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37823) - you deserved it (5812)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by numbnuts (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (16769)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48646) - you deserved it (3712)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

#20898877
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40024) - you deserved it (4751)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42056) - you deserved it (8795)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48914) - you deserved it (5814)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (2983)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

#20898629
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42920) - you deserved it (4807)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (4759)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50747) - you deserved it (5293)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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