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Tuesday 17 September 2013

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Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

by Anon / 09/18/2013 at 1:48pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I realized I pay $160/month to get two texts a day. One from my bank telling me how much I have, one for my credit card telling me how much I owe. FML

by BeautifulChaos27 / 09/17/2013 at 7:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6am to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 7:36am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

by lola1313 / 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

by out_of_my_head / 09/19/2013 at 5:55am / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer. FML

by CrystalsDontWork / 09/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I asked my dad why he only has pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Without skipping a beat, he said, "I only keep pictures from when I liked you." FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous