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Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (7199)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

#20891546
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46457) - you deserved it (5862)

On 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm - work - by -_- (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (46232)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45894) - you deserved it (3150)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50325) - you deserved it (3395)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46802) - you deserved it (3899)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48118) - you deserved it (3810)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (32738)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37448) - you deserved it (4715)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

#20891806
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40052) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm - kids - by soannoyed - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

#20892223
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50913) - you deserved it (4228)

On 09/22/2013 at 10:24pm - love - by really? (man) - United States

Today, just like the last several days, I walked out to my car after class only to notice the Justin Beiber stickers arranged on my bumper and license plates. My dad put them there, and thinks it's just as hilarious as the first time. He has four packs of stickers left. FML

#20886085
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (2952)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by NonBelieber - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42139) - you deserved it (2859)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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